Thursday, February 25, 2010



We all need a vacation, even from the best of daily life: Fifty-two Feasts has been doing just that. I have been cooking and eating merrily, but I have not been writing. So now it’s time to recount a few stories—back to the trenches with knife, rolling pin, and keyboard.

February Foraging

It has been an unusually warm winter. Even before January had ended, there were buds on our plum tree and gracefully unfurling crocuses pushing up amongst the brown leaves and twigs in the garden. Yet despite this impending spring, I was amazed while running one afternoon, to come across the sharp green of young nettles beside the path. “Stinging nettles? In February?” I wondered incredulously. I never knew they were such early risers! Kneeling down to inspect these specimens, I brushed a finger ever so slightly across a leaf and was immediately and unambiguously confirmed in my suspicions.

Delighted with this find, I ran on home only to stop for a pair of study gloves, a bag, and scissors. Then I rushed back to the woods (probably an odd sight, clad in running cloths, dish washing gloves, and clutching a scissors like some mad, murderous biologist) and proceeded to attach various nettle patches with gusto. After twenty minutes I had a stuffed shopping bag of the best young plants available and I had by no means exhausted the forest’s profusion of stingers.

At home once more I dealt immediately with the first half of the bag: One large pot, one chopped onion softened in some oil, followed by a couple peeled and chopped potatoes. I washed the nettles perfunctorily in the salad spinner, and then added them, stems and all the pot, covered it all with stock, and simmered until tender. A quick whiz with the hand-held blender, a slosh of milk and squeeze of lemon juice and I had a truly invigorating spring soup.

The next day was my mother’s birthday and she had demanded a dinner of handmade ravioli. She didn’t care what was in it; she just had a hankering for fresh pasta. Ever the dutiful daughter, I decided to grasp the nettle and posh it up into a pesto (an idea I’d attempted last year with great success). I then used this to fill some of my ravioli dough.

Later Mum, Dad, and I ate the ravioli together. As usual with fresh pasta, the simpler the better: we ate them drizzled with olive oil and freshly ground pepper. The pasta outside was feather light and the pesto inside a potent green that zapped your whole being awake.

Nettle Pesto
4 cups packed fresh nettle leaves (smaller stems OK)
½ cup olive oil
½ cup freshly grated Parmesan
½ cup whole pecans or walnuts
6 garlic cloves, unpeeled
1 garlic clove, finely minced
½ a lemon

Blanch the nettles briefly in boiling water (30 seconds r so) and leave to drain. Heat the unpeeled garlic cloves in a skillet until aromatic. Remove, allow to cool, and then peel. Heat the nuts in the same skillet until lightly toasted. Let them cool and then roughly chop. Throw the nettles, minced and whole garlic, and nuts into a food processor and pulse until combined. Add the oil and process well. Stir in the Parmesan and season to taste with lemon juice, salt, and pepper.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

For the love, hunger, and pleasure of it all

He takes a bite and his eyes roll heavenwards. Bringing a hand to his mouth he covers it as if to grasp more fully the flavors that are tumbling around his palate. Sounds evocative of a different sort of pleasure escape his muffled lips and his body seems to melt under the effects of this luscious taste. Watching this reaction with great satisfaction I find that I am beaming uncontrollably.

For me there are only a few greater pleasures than seeing others enjoy my culinary creations. And after much observation and research I know I am not alone in this conviction. We cooks just love seeing people go weak at the knees over something we’ve concocted. Surely it is the same with other creative endeavors: Don’t musicians derive a similar enjoyment from lulling their audience into another, more beautiful world of sound? And don’t dancers wish to captivate your eyes and heart in the arc of their arms? In fact, I would hazard a guess that most people who pursue their passion—whatever that may be—desire to infect others with their own fervent enthusiasm.

It just so happens that my enthusiasm takes the form of pumpkin ravioli, of thyme flecked parsnip puree and towering soufflés, of rich liver pates, salted caramel brownies, cider cooked mussels, bacon wrapped prunes and the list goes on and on. Of course the food itself is only the surface level of pleasure—that vital, tactile work of knives, fire, smell and taste just the peel off the orange. Beneath this outer layer, I love food and cooking because to me there are few activities more life affirming, immediate, and existentially nourishing. In the simplest sense it is a communion.

Food—as delectable and fascinating as it may be—is also the doorway to something less tangible yet no less essential. As the famed food writer M. F. K. Fisher said: “When I write of hunger, I am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth and the love of it and it is all one.”

Madame Fisher, I’m right there with you!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Oxtails and Vegetarians



“What are we having for dinner?” Caitlin cast an eager glance into the kitchen as she took off her coat.

I started to reply, happily stirring the contents of a saucepan: “We’re having oxtail,” I began, “it’s been simmering for hours in beef stock, chicken stock, and Guinness. It’s just about . . .” I faltered as a horrifying shadow of a recollection flitted across my mind. “You’re not vegetarian, are you? But it was too late. I already knew the answer. How could I have forgotten! Caitlin nodded apologetically; “I don’t eat red meat.”

“Oh no,” I murmured weakly. “God I am so absolutely bloody stupid.” Just as I was getting settled in to an expose of strident self reproof, another appalling thought surfaced: “Justin eats meat, right?” I begged. Caitlin’s apologetic expression deepened. “Oh no,” my voice croaked while my mind launched into a litany of self-aimed obscenities.

I have long maintained a tense relationship with the concept of vegetarianism, admiring it in theory one the one hand, while rebelling against certain aspects of its concrete implications. Do we have the right to eat animals? I often ask myself as I truss pork loin or carve a rib roast. Is it sustainable for the planet to eat meat? Is it healthy?

The answers to most of these questions are as incomplete as they are uncomfortable. Philosophers can barely agree on the essential nature of rights, let alone how they pertain to animals and our habit of eating them. Nutritionists and doctors are equally divided on the subject of health, one moment extolling the virtues of an iron-rich fillet mignon before swerving erratically to decry all flesh as diabetes on a plate. Environmentalists are a less divided crowd, and it is now generally agreed that eating meat is an inefficient, resource heavy form of nourishment.

So plagued have I been by these questions that I wrote my term paper for an ethics course on the subject. It was supposed to be a persuasive paper, so I chose to preach what I practice and wrote in favor of carnivorous rights. Unfortunately, I am not fully convinced by my own arguments and the question still niggles at the edges of my mind. I have cut down on meat, and buy mainly local, free-range, grass-fed products. But is this enough?

A thorough examination of my conscience reveals a rather unholy, pragmatic motive for my embrace of meat: it seems to be the case that a truly delicious vegetarian feast usually takes more elaborate preparation and more talent on the part of the cook.

As we sat down to dinner I shoved the beets, potatoes, and parsnip puree towards Caitlin and Justin, and with considerable embarrassment, ladled out the fragrant oxtail for the others at the table. “I’m going to make a proper, magnificent vegetarian feast one of these days,” I said firmly.

I was still absorbed in conflicting thoughts as I gently nudged the meat on my plate with a fork. Maybe I could become a vegetarian, I thought brightly. And then the meat slide from the bone in soft, feathery shards. The steam rose upwards carrying an aroma as softly layered as the petals of a flower: there was the sweet, pastured beef, the hefty Guinness and luscious wine, the high, bright red currant. There were delicate hints of thyme and contrastingly rough bursts of pepper—all this bound together by the heat and hours of cooking, so that you didn’t want to dissect the flavors but merely to enjoy the round, mellifluous fullness on your tongue. My thoughts about vegetarianism became more fuzzy and conflicted, before giving up the battle and slinking into a corner to sulk. I would deal with them later. For the moment, I was in no state for rational analysis.

Later, the thoughts returned and prompted me to dig out that old ethics essay. I have included it below as it is a good summation of my thoughts thus far on the subject of meat. Of course philosophy can only take us so far, hence those thoughts, slinking out now and then from the herbaceous corner of my conscience which they inhabit.

Meat and Man: A Carnivore’s Defense

Towards the end of May, as the days grow longer and warmer, America takes part in a long-loved tradition. All across the country barbeques are dusted off and dragged out of storage, grills are loaded with charcoal, guests arrive, beers are cracked, and the carnivorous among us indulge in a perfect orgy of the flesh. We tear sweet barbecued chicken from the bone, bite into juicy burgers, and comprehensively devour portions of animals in a bewildering variety of manifestations. The institution of the summer barbeque is perhaps most unabashed celebration of the pleasures of meat cooking and eating. And often, I have found, also a venue for heated discussions on the morality of eating meat. Here I argue a position that lies in between the blind acceptance of tradition embodied in Barbecue Man, and the misplaced moralizing of the ethical vegetarian, and I argue that it is morally justifiable for humans to eat meat as long as we uphold serious considerations for animal welfare.

First of all, it is important to note that this is not a comprehensive discussion of animal rights; such an effort would necessarily include questions not only of the morality of eating animals, but also their use in medical research and cosmetics testing. These latter debates have many variables and considerations distinct from the debate between carnivores and ethical vegetarians, so I leave them out of the argument.

From the range of views held on this subject two—primarily colloquial—extremes emerge as good poles to stake out the breadth of the debate. Only after dealing with these crude extremes can I focus in on the more philosophically sophisticated arguments.

On the one hand there is the ethical vegetarian who argues that we should not eat meat because animals are owed the same basic rights to life that humans owe each other. Who are we, so the argument goes, to rate our species above another? Does this not display a certain “speciesism?” And is that not frighteningly close to racism or sexism? Surely this is a clear matter of prejudicially favoring of one group’s preferences over that of another. And so the ethical vegetarian would have us release all the cows, chickens, and pigs back into the wild, to their apparently idyllic natural state.

This argument has fundamental flaws in that it fails to analyze a key difference between human beings and animals, but more on this later. Furthermore, it denies the relationship humans have with the rest of nature, effectively scooping our species out of the ecosystems in which we live and assuming that some imaginary purity is possible in which we do not act upon these systems. The reality is that we have a relationship with these ecosystems; it is unavoidable. Merely in virtue of walking, talking, and working on this thin layer of biosphere, we are implicated in “nature” and cannot simply remove ourselves. Of course it is not inevitable that we should eat meat; clearly we have a choice. Yet following the ethical vegetarian to her logical conclusion, we might well end up as ethical “fruitarians,” those who chose to only eat fruit that has fallen from a tree. What about fish? Are they owed the same rights as humans? And perhaps vegetables suffer. Perhaps science has not yet developed instruments keen enough to detect it, but is it not conceivable that anything that is alive can suffer in some way? After all, it is the nature of life to will its own survival. It would be humanly impossible to live on this earth and not destroy other forms of life in the process. The ethical vegetarian, then, attempts to create a sort of moral purity that is logically impossible and denies our relationship with the rest of nature, a relationship in which we act on our ecosystems and in turn they act on us.

On the other hand we have Barbecue Man—the unrepentant meat eater who argues for a carnivorous diet on a basis that is diametrically opposed to our vegetarian. He will point to his incisors and inform us that meat eating is natural: Life consumes life, and the fittest, most ingenious predator is the one who survives. Of all the arguments in favor of meat eating, this is the weakest, but seemingly the most commonly proffered. However, a cursory glance at history will remind us that arguing for the continuance of any practice on the basis of tradition is dangerous and unfounded. Before suffrage many men claimed that a woman’s “natural” place was the home, and her “natural” role confined to raising children and catering to hubby. Tradition is at best an empty argument for difficult moral questions, and at worse a horrendous justification for many forms of repression, inequality, and injustice. In effect this carnivore’s appeal to nature and the so-called natural order has the opposite effect to the vegetarian’s argument, not removing us from our necessary relationship with nature, but denying our unique humanity, denying our unique ability to reflect on our actions and uphold any moral expectations for ourselves.

Of course not all vegetarians and carnivores make such crude arguments for their habits, but these represent the extremes, and frame the wider debate. Furthermore, as I have shown, they both miss the mark on the characteristics of our relationship to our environments and ecosystems: We cannot deny the inherently messy way in which we use life to satisfy our needs, but neither can we deny our humanness by appealing to nature itself as justification for eating animals.

Returning to our ethical vegetarian, one of the primary, and at first glance compelling, arguments she makes is a defense of animal rights. In The Case for Animal Rights, Tom Regan claims that, “when it comes to the case for animal rights, then, what we need to know is whether the animals that, in our culture, are routinely eaten, hunted and used in our laboratories, are like us in being subjects of a life. And we do know this” (Regan, 847). The criteria being subjects of a life is enough for Regan to be satisfied that animals deserve rights. However, he does not analyze what a right truly is, a vital step in establishing whether the term can be applied to animals.

A right is in fact a two place predicate: we have the one who holds the right and the one who owes the right. For example, I have a right to my own hair and you have a duty to me not to come along with a pair of scissors and chop off my hair. Because of this two part nature, a right depends on a relationship, implicit or explicit, between two parties. A right may be explicit, for example, when we consciously agree with another person or representative group to something, such as an employment contract. A is employed by B, so A has a right to her wages and B has a right to A‘s labor. Other rights are implicit, such as in the case of my hair. There has been no official agreement that pony tail chopping is immoral, yet this right and corresponding duty is assumed. Now if my very young niece came along and snipped my pony tail off, I would be upset. I would scold her and explain very seriously that such behavior is not acceptable. I would appeal to her reasoning and ask whether she would like it if I came along and snipped her hair off. However, I would not blame her in a truly moral sense because she is very young and still becoming aware of—being educated about—the social contract between human beings. In fact, rights and social contract theory are inexorably linked.

Imagine that, while picnicking, a bird swoops down and flies off with Smith’s sandwich. If Smith were to yell after the bird, appealing to the violation of his rights, any rational observer would assume that Smith is a little crazy. The bird was simply doing what birds do. The incident may be annoying but it is no violation of rights. More pertinently for this argument, imagine that Smith is walking in the African bush and is attacked and eaten by a hungry lion. How to we characterize this incident? Again, no rational person would claim that Smith’s rights had been violated. We would simply lament the death as an unfortunate, if slightly stupid, accident. Because we cannot generally communicate with animals, much less form any social contract with them, they cannot be said to possess rights.

In response to this argument, Regan proffers the cases of mentally disabled people and children. These individuals may not have the full capacity of reason, yet we respect their rights. Reason, Regan claims, cannot be the criteria for granting rights (843). However, I would argue that these people do hold fewer rights. Yes, we do not snip off their hair or intentionally harm them, but mentally disabled people, depending on the severity of the disability, may be required to live in special institutions, not allowed to drive cars, and limited is various concrete ways. And the case is similar with children. We do not allow them to vote, drive, drink, travel unattended, watch pornography, work more than a certain number of hours per week, sign legal documents and so forth. Correspondingly, they are treated with more leniencies when they break the law, the assumption being that they cannot be seen as fully responsible agents. “Rights come with responsibilities,” parents remind their sixteen year-olds when handing over the car keys. Of course we do grant children and the mentally disabled many core rights, the most important being the right to life, precisely the one I am arguing that we need not grant animals that we wish to eat.

A response to this commonly cited objection is the claim that human potentiality for moral comprehension is a sufficient criterion for inclusion in the realm of rights. In a sense we include all humans in our common moral community because they have some potential of being able to, as Cohen says in re/sponse to Regan, “perform the normal moral functions.” Children generally mature and grasp moral principles while mentally disabled people have some potential (no matter how remote) of overcoming their cognitive or psychological difficulties to comprehend and follow a greater or lesser portion of moral requirements (Wood). Thus Regan’s examples are irrelevant, leading to a mistaken blurring of an essential difference between humans and other animals, and the misapplication of the term “rights.”

Yet having established that animals cannot possess rights does not free us from the responsibility of seriously considering our actions towards them: animals may not, lacking (our brand of) reason, be able to enter into a social contract with humans, but like us they do experience pleasure and pain. This capacity for pain is the pivot on which hinges the hedonistic utilitarian argument for animal “rights.” “Pain is pain wherever it is found” (843) Regan writes, and I think this resounds with most people’s intuition. Whether the suffering is human or animal, it causes us some level of discomfort, reflecting our instinctive desire to avoid pain as an evil in itself.

However, it is important to remember that animals in their natural environment are not exempt from pain. Wolves will hunt rabbits; falcons will swoop down on field mice and so on. It is completely naïve to imagine that if one their predators, Homo sapiens, suddenly decided to universally adopt vegetarianism, these animals would live in a wilderness paradise. Predators prey on the weak, the young, the diseased, and the old. Furthermore, predators often attack prey in a vicious and messy way that results in a painful and protracted death. And since it would be ridiculous to attempt to force our system of morality onto animal populations, this state of nature is an unavoidable reality. Given this reality, I believe that the reasonable course to take would be for humans to breed and eat animals only if we can do so in a way that basically replicates their lives in nature and humanely improves upon their deaths.

This is precisely the argument given by Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall in his encyclopedic book on meat. Although Whittingstall is a chef and farmer rather than a philosopher, he seriously considers the implications of eating meat, concluding that it is morally acceptable under certain conditions, very similar to those I stated above. Furthermore, in discussing our unique human predation of animals, in slaughter houses, he claims that “there is something about it that perhaps should inspire a kind of admiration: the notion of an intelligent social creature using its brain and its technology in an attempt to maximize the efficiency and minimize the cruelty of its predation” (Fearnley-Whittingstall, 19). However, he also notes that we have far to go in our treatment of our “prey.” Beyond constantly working to minimize their suffering at death—by altering our system so that animals need not be shipped long distances, crammed, starved, and stressed before slaughter—we must work to make their lives as natural as possible.

Such a requirement would mean the abolishment of most modern forms of agricultural production, eliminating all sufficiently “unnatural” methods of raising and keeping animals. Factory farming, with its custom of keeping animals in uncomfortably small spaces would have to go. So too would the massive cow feeding lot, with its habit of keeping the animals in manure ridden enclosures and feeding them on a diet unsuited for their physiologies. The only animal agriculture that could remain, if we followed this moral standard—replication of the animal‘s natural habitat—would be free-range raised chickens, grass fed beef and lamb, and in general animals fed their natural diets and kept in spacious, open environments.

All this reform would cause a drastic reduction in the quantity of meat available and corresponding rise in meat prices (as it is far more space, time, and cost effective to produce factory farmed chickens, for example, than free ranges ones). Doing the morally responsible thing, in this case, would ultimately result in our diets becoming far less meat heavy.

The act of eating meat can be either immoral or moral, depending on the provenance and life history of the animal from which the meat comes. We neither exist in a moral vacuum (we are implicated in our ecosystems), nor are we homogenous with the rest of nature (we have the unique capacity to reason and make moral choices). Aristotle famously defined his own species as zoon logisticon, or rational animals. To deny either aspect of this dichotomous appellation would be to reject a significant portion of our human identity.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Beets


“I don’t know,” I whined pathetically. “I’m feeling terribly uninspired. Got any ideas?” Boss Man had just inquired into my culinary well being. “Cooked anything lately?” he’d asked conversationally.

I had set a date, invited guests, and all that remained for feast 18 was to decide on the meal itself. An insignificant detail one might think, given my cavalier attitude. But the day was approaching and I hadn’t given due thought to the menu. “Something wintry, warm . . .” I mumbled broadly. Fortunately, Boss Man came to the rescue. All it took was a speculative moment frowning at his coffee roaster and he had a plan: oxtail slowly braised in a rich liquid of stock, red wine, and Guinness. Couple this with a root vegetable puree, and you had an entree. I was beginning to work up some enthusiasm for this feast.

At regular intervals throughout the days that followed, Boss Man came up with additions to the menu: a guild-the-lily mustard cream garnish, suggestions for a variety of different finishes to the dish, more vegetable suggestions. “What have you got as a starter?” He queried one morning. “I, err, hadn’t got that far yet,” I admitted sheepishly. A momentary reproving grin crossed his face, and was followed, predictably, by an answer: Beets.

I decided on a recipe for roasted beets marinated in orange, olive oil, and red wine vinegar, tossed in toasted fennel seeds and topped with goat cheese—a simple, fresh contrast to the rich oxtail to follow. Also, they could be prepared ahead and refrigerated; a host’s dream. So the evening before, I set about the task: roasting the ruby globes whole, wading in their bath of orange juice and covered with foil to capture every ounce of moisture. Once they’d cooled a little from the oven, I took each one and scraped the peel off, their bright magenta dye splashing across my palms and fingers, seeping into the skin. Next the beets were sliced into generous wedges and the marinade poured on top.

I was about to pitch them into the fridge for the night, but couldn’t resist one quick taste. Standing by the kitchen sink, I picked one wedge from the bowl with my still crimson fingers.

Eating beets is like imbibing everything that is sweet and rich in the soil. They taste to me like earth encapsulated in a potent, misshapen orb. The layers of beet slipped apart on my tongue, the texture perfect—firm at first, giving way to a lush juicy sweetness. As usual with taste, an image came welling up into my consciousness: this time I was lying on my stomach, burying my face in the green grass, inhaling my favorite smell on earth: the inebriating aroma of loosened, Spring clay, just after a late frost has released its grip on the land, just after the sun has won it annual victory.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Odiferous Hands


Feast 18 is going to require masses of stock. The oxtail is simmered in it, the potatoes fondantes are braised in it, and any self-respecting cook knows the importance of good stock. It is akin to rich earth for the gardener or a well primed canvas for the painter; it is vital as foundation to a successful dish.

So after returning from work today, and before slipping out for an afternoon run, I grabbed the remains of a roast chicken and hurriedly prepared it for the pot, tearing off the useful flesh for sandwiches and breaking the carcass into chunks. Peering into the fridge I realized I had nothing in the way of stock veggies. Swearing unceremoniously, I grabbed my keys and headed to the grocery store. As I stood at the cash register, veggies in hand, I began smelling a distinctly chicken-like aroma wafting upwards to my nostrils. It was then I realized, sheepishly, that my hands smelt potently of chicken. I handed over the money apologetically, hoping that the poor girl at the checkout wasn’t suffocating from this powerful perfume. I was sure I’d washed my hands. Apparently, however, I’d been a bit too wholehearted in my ministrations towards the roasted bird.

Home again; I washed my hands furiously before chopping the vegetables and setting the pot on to simmer. The scraggly chicken bones were in, along with a couple carrots and celery stalks, an onion, leek, peppercorns, and bay leaf. Thyme, I thought, dashing out to the garden to see if anything was alive. I wasn’t expecting much, as we’d had a few hard frosts in early winter. Yet scrounging under a tangle of dead grasses and twigs, I glimpsed a couple delicate green sprigs still holding out against the cold under their makeshift blanket of withered foliage. I yanked them out and returned to the kitchen. With this addition to the pot I was satisfied, and left the flame to work its magic with the stock mixture.

Pausing before heading of for a run, I sniffed my hands, checking to make sure they no longer reeked of roast chicken. Thankfully they didn’t. Instead my palms smelt sweetly of thyme. The scent washed across my brain—flooding it with sun-baked fields and calloused bare feet. I sighed, speculating on the wonderful variety of olfactory surprises in the life of a cook. One thing is for sure: you never smell of soap for long.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Great Patagonian Defeat


It looked so very simple and graceful in the picture, this Patagonian potato galette: a fine disc of thinly sliced Russets overlapping in concentric circles, golden and crisped to perfection. As I drove back from the farmers market, the provisions for my 17th feast snugly wedged into the back seat, I considered the menu. This was going to be one elegant feast: a boned leg of lamb stuffed with lemon confit and herbs, left to wallow for 7 ½ hours in barely simmering Malbec. Along with this I decided on delicately charred carrots flecked with knobs of melting goat cheese and the ever-so-chic potato galette. As a grand finale I proposed to prepare a recipe for “leche quemada,” a Spanish cousin of crème brûlée. My guests would be suitably awed, I reflected dreamily, by the panache with which I would conclude the meal; caramelizing the sugar-crusted dish at table, using the blazing hot base of a cast iron skillet.

To complete my inordinate glee at the prospect of this performance, I had successfully contrived to drag myself out of a hung-over haze at 8:30 am and shuffle to the farmers market in time to snag the necessary ingredients. This feast was to be the epitome of paradisiacal perfection: locally sourced, posh, flashy, and delicious. That was the dream.

It is the pugnacious tendency of reality to leer malevolently at the dream. But for the lamb itself, the meal was a spectacular series of failures. The carrots, forgotten until the last minute because of my preoccupation with Patagonian potatoes chaos, failed to char satisfactorily outside or soften inside. Furthermore, there wasn’t enough seared goat cheese to make a statement and I clean forgot to toss on the garnishes of dried arugula and garlic chips. But the worst defeat of all was the potato galette. Following the instructions blithely set down by the author of a certain cursed cookbook, I clarified the butter, sliced the potatoes to 1/16th of an inch, and then arranged them in overlapping circles in a sizzling skillet. Everything was coming along right as a trivet until I tried to flip the disc. At this point pandemonium took hold as slices of crackling potato launched themselves in all directions, most missing the aimed for frying pan by yards. The few that did make a successful journey lay in chaos in the butter, all semblance of a galette vanished.

My guest were already sitting drinking wine so I could not give in to the violent urge to wail, stamp my feet, and generally descend into a wholehearted meltdown. Instead, I gritted the old teeth and carried on, although throughout the meal I had to fight the self-pitying tantrum simmering in the pit of my stomach. Luckily the lamb itself was quite good. Had it been otherwise, I would most definitely have caved under the weight of disaster.

Still, one hope lingered in the form of dessert. Surely I could redeem the meal with a stunning tabletop caramelizing act! So I carefully sprinkled the set custard-like concoction with a layer of sugar, placed it on the table, and heated a cast iron skillet on high, as directed by the wretched recipe, until it was smoking vigorously. Then, seized with determination I hauled it off the stove, strode over to the table, and placed the base carefully on top of the circular pie dish containing the dessert. Alas victory was not to be. Despite careful preparation, I had misjudged the size of the dish relative to the size of the skillet’s base. Instead of a satisfying sizzle indicative of the caramelizing process, I heard nothing. Looking closely I realized that the skillet wasn’t even able to touch the sugar, let alone brown it to perfection. Broken spirited I returned to the kitchen and spent a few tedious minutes coaxing a semblance hardened sugar glaze under the broiler.

The moral of the story, I decided tucking my slightly mollified soul into bed, was that the quality of the feast tends to diminish as my desire to impress rises. This time—it is regrettable but must be confessed—I really did quite want to impress. Just a little bit.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Correction (a)

Fifty-two feasts wishes to note a regrettable omission from the recent post "Butternut Squash and Sage Risotto." Credit for the inspiration of this dish properly goes to Alex Laugharne, a.k.a the dashingly handsome, witty, and spectacularly talented culinarian, referred to by one reliable source as "Jamie Oliver for the next generation." It is our sincerest hope that Alex please accept our humble apologies.